In today’s society it is common to only think of domestic abuse as affecting women, however, statistically speaking there are far more men being abused. The difference is that men are far less likely to report such abuse for one reason or another.
For me, speaking from experience, I was in an abusive relationship around ten years ago. She would stop me from talking to certain friends, she would constantly want to know who was texting and ringing my phone, she would even go through messages to make sure that I wasn’t being “Naughty with other girls.”
We didn’t officially live with each other, she had a flat somewhere and I had my own, but she wanted to be with me 24 hours a day, so when I wasn’t staying at hers she would be staying at mine. I remember her staying at my flat one night and I was speaking with the next door neighbour – who was a woman – I looked up at my spare bedroom window in horror as I saw her watching me talk to her. When she saw me she moved away from the window and I had to quickly wrap up my conversation with the woman. I walked up the stairs in dread as I didn’t know what she was going to say or do. We had an argument and she put her fist through my bedroom door.
I moved from my flat to another one around the corner and at the time I had to have mental health staff from the NHS visit me on a regular basis. It was on such a day that they were due to come round that my Girlfriend wanted to check my phone, I had no choice but to let her and she didn’t like what she saw. An argument ensued which resulted in her assaulting me so bad that blood began to drip from the side of my head. The NHS Staff came in to witness the aftermath of the assault. Whilst I was being seen to be the staff, she packed up things in my flat. She even took food knowing that I had no money to replace it.
I was embarrassed by the whole thing and didn’t want to get her into trouble at the time so I never reported it. Shortly afterwards I split up with her for good but she gave me a dire warning, that if I didn’t reconsider there would be consequences, but I shrugged it off. It’s been ten years and this woman still tried to control me and do damage to my life one way or the other. It’s a desperate situation that I have been subjected to.
The point of this is that men need to recognise and report the signs of domestic abuse. Do not fall into the way of thinking that it is embarrassing. If you are suffering from domestic abuse you should report it. There are a number of places you can get help.